Sometimes, when PilotHusband begins to speak, I surrender to the irresistible compulsion to say, in my best Forest Gump voice, "I'm not a smart man, Jen-nie". Its not that he is an uneducated man. In fact, he attended one of the top ranked, private, Southern, Liberal Arts Colleges. He double majored in History and Political Science. He was named to the Dean's List. He is well travelled, and well read. But sometimes when he opens his mouth, I just have to say "WTF?". Here's some PilotHusband wisdom he has shared with me recently.
"Do you think Neil Armstrong was sober when he landed on the moon? Hell no! I can assure you he mixed vodka in his Tang!"
(Ummm... APW is pretty certain Neil Armstrong was completely sober when he took one giant leap for mankind).
"If I'm too lazy to memorize the last line of the eye chart, I don't deserve to have 20/20 vision".
(If you have to memorize the last line of the eye chart, you don't ACTUALLY have 20/20 vision).
"You eat pancakes, or oatmeal, for breakfast. Beer is no different. It has wheat, barley, rye, and hops. Hell! Its a good source of fiber, if you ask me".
(Wow. I can't even respond to that one).
"I'm not interrupting you. I know you so well, I can finish your sentences for you; so there is no need for you to speak further".
(Yeah... about that.... ahhhh... NO! You have no idea what I am trying to say. That's why I have to repeat myself 14 times before you actually can process what I am trying to tell you).
PilotHusband will be home for at least another 18 days. I'm sure he'll have more pearls of wisdom to share.
****** PilotHusband got home from his last trip on September 24th. He is not scheduled back on duty until October 22nd. Do the math! I'm not sure what the rules are regarding betting pools on the Internet. But if anyone wants to chime in on the comment board, or my email (you can link to it under my profile page) and wager a guess as to when AngryPilotWife finally snaps, please do so. Whoever comes closest to the exact day and time that I totally loose it, will receive an APW refrigerator magnet.
(For those of you with an upcoming Medical.... the last line of the eye chart is V K Z C R)
You're welcome.
"Do you think Neil Armstrong was sober when he landed on the moon? Hell no! I can assure you he mixed vodka in his Tang!"
(Ummm... APW is pretty certain Neil Armstrong was completely sober when he took one giant leap for mankind).
"If I'm too lazy to memorize the last line of the eye chart, I don't deserve to have 20/20 vision".
(If you have to memorize the last line of the eye chart, you don't ACTUALLY have 20/20 vision).
"You eat pancakes, or oatmeal, for breakfast. Beer is no different. It has wheat, barley, rye, and hops. Hell! Its a good source of fiber, if you ask me".
(Wow. I can't even respond to that one).
"I'm not interrupting you. I know you so well, I can finish your sentences for you; so there is no need for you to speak further".
(Yeah... about that.... ahhhh... NO! You have no idea what I am trying to say. That's why I have to repeat myself 14 times before you actually can process what I am trying to tell you).
PilotHusband will be home for at least another 18 days. I'm sure he'll have more pearls of wisdom to share.
****** PilotHusband got home from his last trip on September 24th. He is not scheduled back on duty until October 22nd. Do the math! I'm not sure what the rules are regarding betting pools on the Internet. But if anyone wants to chime in on the comment board, or my email (you can link to it under my profile page) and wager a guess as to when AngryPilotWife finally snaps, please do so. Whoever comes closest to the exact day and time that I totally loose it, will receive an APW refrigerator magnet.
(For those of you with an upcoming Medical.... the last line of the eye chart is V K Z C R)
You're welcome.
I don't normally comment, but I just had to say I am so glad I am not the only one whose husband has said those same things! I have lots of " What the Hell" moments around here!
ReplyDeleteAs for when you snap, I hope you last longer than me! I would only last 3 or 4 days! Good luck!
Tell him to take a picture. More time to memorize! And my guess is day 10! And that is giving lots of credit. Day 5 usually starts driving me crazy!
ReplyDeleteMy pilot husband was recently home for 20 days straight. Were it not for his little red and white mistress at the airport (a Cessna 150) singing her siren song, summoning him to the airport every few days ... I'd now be writing you from the local jail. Where I would have been taken following said pilot husband's filing of assault charges. I don't know what I'm going to do in 8 years when he retires. I need a Vodka just thinking of it.
ReplyDelete