Wednesday, March 13, 2013


So... one night, several weeks ago, AngryPilotWife had a few glasses of wine and decided it was time to get back in shape.  As motivation to do so, I announced, on the APW Facebook page, that I would be participating in the "Rugged Maniac" 5K run in Ashboro, NC at the end of April.  It is 3.1 miles of Navy Seal inspired obstacles... sheer walls, flooded tubes, mud fields, and perhaps a small wall of fire to jump over.  Heck, if I could survive 22 years with my PilotHusband, surely I could crawl through a little mud.  And I invited other PilotWives to join me.

HOLY SHAMOLEY!!!  My girls came through for me!  To date, we have United, Delta, SWA, USAirways,  Republic, and AmericanEagle Wives ready to run.  Some of us are very fit.   Others, like me,  think jogging is a pain because you can't help but spill your glass of wine as you run.  No matter.  We will get through this together.  As much as I'd like to kick some ass, this is really about PilotWife bonding, getting dirty, having fun, and cleaning up afterwards for a girl's night out in BFE North Carolina.

So, LAST CALL!!!  You don't have to be fit, you don't have to be fast.  You just have to be willing!  If you can't complete an obstacle, you can walk around it.  The important thing, is doing this crazy mud/water/fire thing TOGETHER.  Oh, by the way, there's free beer at the end!  And I will be providing the, first ever, AngryPilotWife T-shirts for all of the participants.

Please e-mail me at if you are interested in participating.  You can view the course for the Ashboro NC race at  Come on, Girls..... Let's do this!!!

Thursday, March 7, 2013


Okay, boys and girls... for those of you counting down, we have one week to go until Steak and Blow Job Day.  Remember, PilotHusbands; this is a reciprocal holiday.  Recognizing that Valentine's Day is pretty much a "chick thing", Steak and Blow Job Day is meant to reward you for your efforts on February 14th.  If you did NOT adequately demonstrate your love and affection to your woman last month, well... no T-bone for you!

For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, please refer to the blog, posted on March 12, 2012.

AngryPilotWife has a bit of a quandary regarding the March 14th holiday.  Technically, PilotHusband did order 2 dozen roses to be delivered the day before Valentine's Day, however, FedEx left them, erroneously, at a neighbor's house. Thus, PilotHusband spend the entire day, on the phone, screaming at ProFlowers and FedEx about what an important person he was. Only when our neighbor returned home from work at 6:00pm and carried the box of roses over to us, did the situation get resolved.  Yes, he (finally) remembered Valentine's Day... but was it Steak and Blow Job worthy?  I'm sort of thinking this earned him a NY strip steak and a reach around.

Just remember, PilotWives, Pavlov had a point.  We must reward good behavior to make it more likely to occur in the future.  But "Hannibal Lector" also had a point... "Quid pro quo, Agent Staring".  In life, and love, you get, in perfect measure and symmetry, what you give.

For those of you who have earned it... Happy Steak and Blow Job Day to you!

Sunday, March 3, 2013


I hate smoke detectors.  I know, I know... they save a lot of lives.  One or two are okay.  But when we built our house, County Building Code required us to place a smoke detector in each of the four bedrooms; a fifth one in the upstairs hallway; a sixth one in the downstairs foyer; and number seven just inside the garage door.  They are all hard-wired in and if one goes off, they all go off, creating a noise loud enough to tear a whole in the fabric of Space-Time.  Here's the fun part... occasionally, one starts to chirp intermittently, for no apparent reason.

Such was the case tonight.  The smoke detector in the upstairs office/bedroom began to chirp.  At first, PilotHusband didn't notice this because he was laying on the sofa, watching yet another war movie with the volume set on level 43. APW and FuturePilotSon tried to fix the problem.  We got up on a ladder and dusted for any spider webs that may have triggered the sensors.  We went downstairs and searched the kitchen junk drawers for a new 9 volt battery, in case that was the issue.  Simultaneously, we called "Uncle Red" to have him talk me through closing the electrical circuit on this particular smoke detector.

Meanwhile, PilotHusband finally heard the sound and leap into action.  While APW and FuturePilotSon were in the kitchen, PilotHusband went upstairs and did the only reasonable thing.  He began to beat the smoke detector with a broom handle until it fell apart in several pieces all over the floor.  With live wires hanging, PilotHusband declared the Beast had been slayed, and retreated once again to the comfort of the sofa, and the Military Channel.  Problem solved.

Well... at least he didn't call Maintenance and wait at Starbucks.