Tuesday, July 2, 2013


Lionel Ritchie sang "Easy Like Sunday Morning". I didn't know he was a pilot.  Lionel must be, because when PilotHusband is home, Sunday mornings are super easy for him.... not so much for AngryPilotWife.  Here's the timeline for the past Sunday.  Decide for yourself.  Oh and please excuse the Zulu Time... that's how we roll.

1000Z (6:00AM)  AngryPilotWife wakes up... because that's what time APW wakes up every day.  PilotHusband is wrapped in all the covers like some mutant caterpillar and snoring like a bulldozer with a misfiring engine.

1100Z (7:00AM)  APW finishes sucking down 2 Monster energy drinks and watching the local morning news.  PilotHusband shuffles past, naked, and gets a glass of water from the kitchen.  He announces. "We are NOT going to church this morning" and he goes back to bed.

1300Z (9:00AM)  After feeding the chickens, changing the hay in their nesting box, feeding the toads, tadpoles, newly metamorphosed baby frogs, the dog, the cat, the snails, and the Guinea Pig, APW wakes the child, feeds him breakfast and dresses him.  Then we depart for church, telling the congregation that PilotHusband is on a trip.  PilotHusband continues to snore in his makeshift chrysalis.

1430Z (10:30AM) Upon returning from church, APW finds PilotHusband sitting on the sofa, watching FoxNews and drinking coffee, wearing a white terry bathrobe, looking like a cranky polar bear.  APW changes into work clothes, gets out her Ryobi saw and heads out to the back yard to start chunking up the trees we lost in the last big thunderstorm.

1530Z (11:30AM) APW comes back in the house to get a cold bottle of water.  PilotHusband is laying on the sofa, drinking a Leffe, watching "The Longest Day" on the Military Channel (for the 57th time).  He barely notices APW lugging her Ryobi paint sprayer out the back door to apply primer to 600 feet of cinder block retaining wall because its that great scene when they storm Sword Beach with Sean Connery.  Who could fault him for that?

1615Z (12:15PM) APW comes back in the house to fetch her drill, saw, hardware cloth, and ferring strips, announcing that she must repair the enclosure around the chicken coop because the bobcat, fox, or coyote, tried to get in.  PilotHusband does not notice this because he's watching Richard Burton get shot down (you know, the part where he breaks his leg and waits for the GIs and the guy has his boots on the wrong feet... cinematic genius).

I could go on and on.  Suffice it to say, the critters all got fed, APW and our son got some religion, the trees got cut, the retaining wall got painted, the chicken coop enclosure got repaired, and an acre and a half of grass got mowed.  As for PilotHusband, he drank coffee and watched FoxNews, he drank Leffe and watched "The Longest Day", then he drank Scotch and watched the "Hitler's Henchmen" marathon.  Oh yeah, then I cooked him dinner.

"Easy Like Sunday Morning"?????  No disrespect to the Commodores, but Lionel Ritchie can bite me.  For all you self-sufficient AngryWives, and you PilotHusbands who do more than fly airplanes and watch the Military Channel, please check out the link to Ryobi.  I really do own these tools, use them ("cause no one else in this house would), and recommend them. http://bdash.ca/?url=NTM2MzY2


No comments:

Post a Comment