Thursday, September 20, 2012


AngryPilotWife met PilotHusband when we attended the same college.  It was August of 1990... and we have been together ever since.  Its been 22 years, and 25 days (not that anyone is counting, mind you).  I COULD HAVE KILLED A MAN, AND GOTTEN OFF WITH LESS TIME!  People have asked me, "How do you keep a relationship going for so long?".  The answer is simple.... he leaves.  That is the beauty, the foundation, the life-spring, the glue, that keeps us together.  PilotHusband leaves on a trip, giving me enough time to recover from everything he did to piss me off when he was home.  PilotHusband leaves on a trip to  give me enough time to start missing him.  PilotHusband leaves on a trip to allow me to fall back, regroup, and maintain my sanity.  It may sound dysfunctional, but it works for us.

Alas, dear readers, I fear the worst.  The Perfect Storm is upon us.  Just like the remnants of a hurricane merging with a nor'easter that sunk George Clooney and Mark Wahlberg, the seas are getting rough.  PilotHusband has been home for 10 days.  I did not sign up for that.  No one in scheduling asked me if that was okay (because it is most definitely NOT okay. people!).  Perhaps he will get a trip this weekend, but after that.... the ultimate storm is coming.  At the end of this month, PilotHusband has 2 days off, followed by 7 primary vacation days, followed by 7 secondary vacation days, FOLLOWED BY 5 REGULAR DAYS OFF... giving us a grand total of 21 days off in a row.  Really?  REALLY?  REALLY?

Just how many hours of the Military Channel do you think I can sit through?  I can already give you the full biography of all of "Hitler's Henchmen" and identify their medals.  I can identify 15 different tanks by their silhouette.  I can break down and reassemble an M16.  I have pages of dialogue memorized from Band of Brothers, A Bridge Too Far, Kelly's Heroes, Where Eagles Dare, The Dirty Dozen, and The High and the Mighty.

No disrespect to my boys at, but Mama needs a little computer time too.  If PilotHusband is home for 21 days straight, APW will have to go on hiatus because what could be more important than what Buzzpat, Tsquare, Forgot to Bid, Boomer, DogWhisperer, HoserPilot, Ferd, Scambo, 80 KTS, and Wasatch have to say?

This is a nightmare of EPIC proportions!  Is there not a bean counter at the Air Line who can weigh the risk of leaving a pilot at home for 21 days versus the insurance payout and cost of retraining a replacement when the wife finally snaps?  I'm just sayin'.


  1. I don't wish your husband any ill will (or health), but my pilot husband just recently returned to flying after 10.5 months at home because of a "cardiac" event. I told my friends, "You just don't understand! He has been gone half the time since 1988!" I do feel your pain about "the pilot" being home more than 10 days. I must say that the 10.5 months went by quicker than I would have ever expected and now we are back to him being away every weekend. Oh well, the important thing is that he is still around to bug the crap out of me and that he can go away for a few days to let me get over it.

  2. You still crack my shiz up! I miss your comments on my blog, Angry Pilot Wife. My sister and I always talk about how frigging hilarious you are. She's married to a pilot, so she knows.