Saturday, August 10, 2013


In any relationship, misunderstandings, resentment, annoyances, and expectations can build up and create tension.  From time to time, its a good idea for couples to sit down and "clear the air"... or remove the turbulence, so to speak.  Any time I have tried to do this with my PilotHusband, he just turns up the volume on the Military Channel to drown me out.  So, I shall clear the air right here.  Perhaps he will read it, or someone on Airline Pilot Central will read it (and give him shit for it), or he will ignore it just as much in written form as he does verbally.  Regardless, I will feel better for getting it off my chest.... and it just may apply to some of you, as well.

1.    You do not get a gold star for doing your job.  That's what you are supposed to do.  I do my job every day, and no one gives me a smiley face sticker.  Thank you for transporting 300+ souls safely to Paris (over the frozen North Atlantic).... now will you PLEASE mow the effing lawn?

2.    If I call you while you are on a trip, its not because I want to talk to you.  If I call you, it is to express annoyance that you haven't called me.  Okay, I admit it... that probably doesn't make much sense.  Its a "chick thing".  I can view your schedule.  I know you had a three hour break in NYC; but you didn't call.  I know you got to the hotel on Day 2 at noon; but you didn't call until 7:00PM.  I know you didn't leave the hotel until 2:00PM on Day 4; but you didn't call until the end of your rotation.  I want to feel like, checking in with your family, is the most important thing to you.

*Please note, even if you did call at every soonest opportunity, I would still be short, curt, snippy, and dismissive, because I'm still pissed off about that thing you did/said/didn't do/didn't say, before you left.  Deal with it.  I went through LABOR... I win!  Pick up a damn phone.

3.    I know you want our son to follow in Daddy's footsteps and be a Pilot... for your Air Line.  However, if you keep nagging him about going to Annapolis or the Air Force Academy, and becoming a Carrier Qualified Pilot... he will rebel.  If you keep this up, he will end up majoring in Musical Theater at NC School of the Arts (not that there's anything wrong with that).  HE'S SEVEN!  Right now, he wants to become a "Toy Designer" and live at the North Pole with Santa, where he can design cool robot toys for the elves to make.  Chill a little bit, will ya'?

4.    I know you are a "stick and rudder" guy, but will you PLEASE get the stick out of your ass?  Contrary to popular belief, you can be friends with people who don't fly airplanes.  APW has lots of different friends, all of whom have something unique to contribute.  Heavily inked biker friends, militant lesbian friends, neo-hippie Renaissance Festival friends, redneck farmer friends, plain old redneck friends, uber-yuppie executive friends... and they all enrich my life and make me smile in their own way.  Pilots are not the Master Race.  You watch  Military Channel... you know how that turned out for the Nazis.

5.    Please stop deleting important emails and then dumping the computer trash, only to turn around and tell me there's an important email that I need to address.  How exactly am I supposed to do that?
Okay... I feel better now.  Don't worry.  I intend to be fair and balanced.  PilotHusband comes home today.  I'll make notes as to all of his complaints and post them here as well.  (This could get really interesting)


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