Thursday, February 28, 2013


A few years ago, PilotHusband and I were watching a television show about "Black Widow" killers... women who murdered their husbands.  One woman killed three husbands in a row, poisoning them with Arsenic.  The narrator went on to describe how arsenic leaves a slight almond aftertaste when ingested.  So what did AngryPilotWife do?  I went to Costco and purchased a huge bottle of Almond Extract.  For months to follow, I added it to EVERYTHING that PilotHusband ate or drank.  I mixed it in the mashed potatoes, I added it to his morning coffee, I'd even add a few drops to his beer when he wasn't looking.  What fun!  PilotHusband became very nervous, and for a time, was on his best behavior.

As I write this, PilotHusband is glued to the TV, forgoing his beloved MilitaryChannel to watch the minute by minute coverage of the Jodi Arias Murder Trial.  Hmmm... that gives me a few ideas.  Maybe I'll hack into his email, or show up unexpectedly on his overnights... over and over and over again.  Perhaps I'll suggest we rent a nondescript white car and take a road trip.  I could suggest we take racy pictures of each other.  I just might start photographing him while he's in the shower.  This is gonna' be AWESOME!

I've got to go.  I want to remove the license plate off my truck before they recess for lunch!

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