Friday, December 21, 2012


Since most PilotWives have to fend for themselves over the holidays, I thought I would share some hints and tips that APW has implemented over the years to make things Holly Jolly.

1.  It sucks that your PilotHusband will be gone over Christmas.  However, he is a grown-up.  He had plenty of cool Christmas mornings in his youth.  Do NOT, under any circumstances, move Christmas to accommodate your PilotHusband's schedule if your children are over the age of three.  Santa comes on Christmas Eve.  Period.  To pretend that Christmas is some other day requires you to sequester your children like OJ Jurors.  Someone will blow it.  Don't even go there.  Do Christmas on December 25th.  Take lots of videos and let Dad get his presents when he gets home.  Do not buy into his sob story.  I've done Christmas in Paris and New York.... it doesn't suck.  If your child believes in Santa, he or she comes first.  Do not blow the magic of it all.

2.  Reindeer are important.  Sure, we all leave out cookies for Santa, but the reindeer get hungry too.  Be sure to put a plate of carrots and deer corn outside before bed.

3.  If you live in a house with a fireplace, spray hairspray on the soles of a pair of boots and dust them with baby powder or fireplace ashes.  Leave a trail of footprints from the chimney to the tree.  Its sooooo tinsel!!!!

4.  To assemble bicycles, dollhouses, train sets, or anything else the requires an engineering degree, for your child to find under the tree, enlist the help of a high school boy or your neighbor's kid home from college.  They are better at that sort of thing.  Plus it gives you a chance to pull out your best "Mrs. Robinson" impersonation.  Hey!  Whatever gets the X-box installed or the Barbie DreamHouse put together!

5.  Stockings are important!  I mean the "hung by the chimney with care" kind, not the kind worn by Anne Bancroft in The Graduate.  Be sure Santa leaves something in every one's stocking.  In our house, PilotHusband always gets black dress socks in his... only because coal is hard to come by here.

Don't stress.  Christmas, by its very nature, is a perfect and beautiful thing.  I wish you all much joy and wonderment this holiday season.

No comments:

Post a Comment