Thursday, July 19, 2012


(for Laura)

Ummm, Boys?  You know that AngryPilotWife loves each and every one of you.  I appreciate the dedication to safety and the professionalism of all the SkyKings, UberAviators, and Gods of the Stratosphere, out there. 

Having said that, WILL YOU PLEASE KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS!?!?  Again, I come to you out of love and respect.  But keep in mind, it is called "AngryPilotWife".  Therefore, I get e-mails from fellow AngryPilotWives, ReallyPissedOffPilotWives, IHateHisGutsPilotWives, and a few from AboutToCastrateTheLyingCheating SOBPilotWives.  Just giving you a head's up.

I'm just trying to help a Brother out.  Let's review a few things so you don't end up living in a van, down by the river...

1.   We can see your cell phone bill details.  You leave town for half the month and put us in charge of paying all the bills.  Duh.  We can pull up the usage details and track the call history and text messages.

2.   You are NOT James Bond.  Do not get a second super-secret cell phone that you think we won't find.  We will.  You will have no valid explanation for it and it will not be pretty.  Just don't go there.

3.  We can see your debit/credit card charges.  Really?  Do you honestly think we will believe you when you tell us that there's a Victoria's Secret charge on your credit card because you went shopping with a Flight Attendant, and her card wouldn't work, so you put it on your card and she reimbursed you with cash? 

4.  We know how many pills come in a Viagra/Cialis prescription.  We know how many you have used with us.  We can do math.  Enough said.

My PilotHusband is an idiot, hence the blog.... he has set fire to the yard, set fire to the condo, dyed my clothes pink, and screwed up Valentine's Day for 22 years, but he is loyal.  Please remember, as he does, that PilotWives must be strong and independent as you are gone so much, but they are deserving of love and respect when you are home.  Enough said. 

(Please don't chew me up on the comments.... I know most of you are good guys.  Just trying to do right by everybody).

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