Thursday, March 8, 2012


FOR SALE: Gently used Air Line Pilot.  1966 Legacy Carrier model.  Low mileage (it never leaves the couch), needs some body work (enough said).  Full luxury package including feelings of entitlement, charisma, zero frustration tolerance, gravitas, after market love handles, generally pissy attitude, and four type ratings.  Color scheme: white exterior with grey roof (no, honey... that's NOT platinum blond coming in).  Original owner with all maintenance records.  Fluids replaced regularly (thanks to Leffe and the Jim Beam Distillery).  Some factory defects including grandiose self-worth, dysfunctional relationship with parents, and a tendency to overheat.  Boat, aircraft, SUV, and 401K plan not included.  A great project for the right buyer!  Will consider straight sale or trade for newer model.  All offers considered.

1 comment:

  1. Bahaaaa!!! I officially lost it at the grey roof!!! I once posted "Husband for sale. No returns" on Facebook and nearly ended up in divorce court. But, who cares what the repercussions are? This was funnier n' hell! I like the way you think!