Saturday, March 17, 2012


St. Patrick's Day used to mean drinking green beer in ridiculous quantities, dancing a jig, and spending the next 2 days recovering from the hangover.  Oh how times have changed!  Our son is five years old and has spent the past week learning all about Leprechauns in his Kindergarten class.  He came home very excited at the beginning of the week and announced that he had a special project to do.  All of the children in his class were asked to construct a Leprechaun Trap, in hopes of catching the wee imp and getting his gold.  Our child informed us that Leprechauns love to eat potatoes, they are attracted to rainbows, they love the color green, and they can be mischievous.  From that deep and expansive data base, we were to assist our son in the construction of a device that would, perhaps, catch one of the little buggers.

I did what any good AngryPilotWife would do.... I put Daddy in charge of that particular assignment.  PilotHusband and the child began to brainstorm and sketch out plans for a trap.  Delighted that they were working well together, spending quality time, and bonding over the experience, I left the house to run a few errands.

When I returned, they had, in fact, constructed a trap.  PilotHusband had our child decorate a shoebox with shamrocks and (begrudgingly, rainbows) that was placed upside down, and propped up with a stick that had a string tied to it.  I immediately recognized the design from a Wiley Coyote and Road Runner cartoon, but I kept my mouth shut.  That is, until I saw, that under the box, PilotHusband had placed a shot glass of whiskey as bait.  REALLY?  FOR A KINDERGARTEN CLASS?  PilotHusband assured me it was cask-aged 15 year old Jamison's Irish Whiskey... so it would be perfect.

Back to the drawing board!  After a trip to Party City for decorations and a stop at Michael's Craft Store for supplies, we finally came up with a very nice trap for our son to bring to school.  It had a trap door camouflaged by a picture of a rainbow and used very small potatoes for bait.  When he climbed off the school bus Friday afternoon, he had brought his trap home with him.  While disappointed that he didn't catch a Leprechaun at school, he was certain his creation was good enough to catch one at home... after all St. Patrick's Day wasn't until Saturday... and everybody knows that's the best time for Leprechaun hunting.

Of course PilotHusband was on a trip, so the burden of producing an actual Leprechaun in the trap, for our 5 year old, fell on my shoulders.  I waited until my son was sound asleep and pinched wee bite marks out of the potatoes with my fingernails.  Then I filled the trap with gold-wrapped chocolate coins and tore a small hole in the side of the box.  I left a note from our Leprechaun friend that explained he was, in fact, caught by the trap, but managed to bust loose.  However, fair is fair, so he left some "Gold" for our son.  Then, given a Leprechaun's love of mischief, I up-ended some of the furniture and covered the ground floor in toilet paper. 

I'd hate for PilotHusband to miss all the fun... so when he comes home tomorrow, there will still be toilet paper hanging from the ceiling fan, knocked over furniture, and an EMPTY bottle of Jamison's Irish Whiskey on the coffee table.  Darn those pesky Leprechauns!

Happy Saint Paddy's Day, everybody!

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