While sitting on the sofa next to PilotHusband, the other day, (yes, watching the Military Channel), I detected a peculiar fragrance. Something slightly floral and cloyingly sweet. I couldn't figure out where it was coming from. Then PilotHusband got up to get another beer and I realized the fragrance was gone. When he returned, so did the aroma. Then it hit me. PilotHusband was wearing my Secret for Women Cherry Blossom deodorant! It had been missing from my toiletry basket for days. Evidently, he had run out of his and it was easier to walk around smelling "girly springtime fresh" than to actually go to a store and buy more deodorant.
The same applies to tweezers. I went to pluck my eyebrows last week and could not find any of the 4 tweezers I know I bought in the past few months. I was forced to go out in the world with a unibrow, looking like a member of the East German Women's Weightlifting Team. Sure enough, when PilotHusband returned from his trip, I found all 4 tweezers... in his suitcase. And yet, he still has a problem with ear hair.
Nothing is sacred. Your hairbrush, comb, toothpaste, toothbrush, cash from your wallet (especially if he's running too late to hit the ATM on his way to work)... everything is fair game when you live with PilotHusband. You know all those single socks that disappear in your dryer? I'll bet if you come over, you'll find them in my PilotHusband's suitcase! Heck, if it wasn't for fundamental differences in anatomy, I bet he'd swipe my tampons!
I'm not the only one who feels this way. Last week I caught our five year old son, rummaging through Daddy's suitcase. When I asked him what he was doing, he replied, "I can't find my Megatron Transformer guy anywhere! It's GOT to be in here, Mom". Yes, even little man has figured out that if something goes missing, it's probably in PilotHusband's suitcase. If PilotHusband ever gets a bigger bag, we've got a good shot at finding Bigfoot, Jimmy Hoffa and Amelia Earhart in there!
The same applies to tweezers. I went to pluck my eyebrows last week and could not find any of the 4 tweezers I know I bought in the past few months. I was forced to go out in the world with a unibrow, looking like a member of the East German Women's Weightlifting Team. Sure enough, when PilotHusband returned from his trip, I found all 4 tweezers... in his suitcase. And yet, he still has a problem with ear hair.
Nothing is sacred. Your hairbrush, comb, toothpaste, toothbrush, cash from your wallet (especially if he's running too late to hit the ATM on his way to work)... everything is fair game when you live with PilotHusband. You know all those single socks that disappear in your dryer? I'll bet if you come over, you'll find them in my PilotHusband's suitcase! Heck, if it wasn't for fundamental differences in anatomy, I bet he'd swipe my tampons!
I'm not the only one who feels this way. Last week I caught our five year old son, rummaging through Daddy's suitcase. When I asked him what he was doing, he replied, "I can't find my Megatron Transformer guy anywhere! It's GOT to be in here, Mom". Yes, even little man has figured out that if something goes missing, it's probably in PilotHusband's suitcase. If PilotHusband ever gets a bigger bag, we've got a good shot at finding Bigfoot, Jimmy Hoffa and Amelia Earhart in there!
Don't trip on the east German women weightlifters. I bet they are some pretty nice gals. And if you find Bigfoot, let those morons at Animal Planet know! Hilarious post, as usual.
ReplyDeleteHello again PilotWife!
ReplyDeleteThis time I'm writing while a heavy thundershower is pouring outside in beautiful Puerto Rico, the joys of being in the tropics. I must say that I also wear the deodorant from "La Jefa" when I run out of mine. But, women deodorant, especially Dove -on some twisted way- works better than Old Spice, Right Guard, Axe, etc... Plus, the fresh and clean smell gets the attetion of people around you. As always, an excellent post!
Hello my friend from PR! Interestingly, the deodorant thingie has really hit home for a lot of folks. Maybe I have unresolved "girl crush" issues, but I DO prefer a man to smell like gardenia blooms than musk and sandlewood. Player, player, you figured it out before most guys! Thanks for reading! ;)
DeleteYour husband and mine must be long lost brothers! He will occasionally use my deodorant if he runs out of his, or even better one time he ran out while on a trip and bought the womens deodorant because it was cheaper!
ReplyDeleteHe was obviously too cheap to buy the hotel gift store deodorant at 7.00 bucks. No worries as I am too. So in typical pilot fashion I used my foot odor spray, works great, lasts long time.
ReplyDelete