Thursday, February 23, 2012


 Dear Readers, either I drank too much wine, or PilotHusband drank too much Leffe, but somehow, this post got deleted off the blog achieves.  Sorry for the "rerun" but I wanted to make sure this was accessible to all.  So here it is again.  BTW, AngryPilotWife really does try to share things with you out of love and humor for PilotHusband.... but today, I am feeling neither love, nor humor, towards PilotHusband, so its probably best to repost this one  ;)

Of course, if you fly airplanes for a living, you are a pilot. But for Real Pilots, it is more than an occupation.  It is a way of life that defines their very being.  Real Pilots bleed hydraulic fluid and breathe jet wash.  Here's a little quiz to help you determine if being a pilot is just your occupation, or if you are a Real Pilot. Give yourself 1 point for each A, 2 points for each B, and 3 points for each C. Add up your score for the results at the end of the quiz.

1. When coming home after a red-eye flight, the best choice for breakfast is...
     A. low fat milk and high fiber cereal.
     B. leftovers from the frig.
     C. a six pack of my favorite beer.

2. If departing for a trip on Wednesday, I...
     A. am sure to pick up my dry cleaning and repack my bag well in advance.
     B. throw everything in my bag the night before.
     C. ask my wife, Wednesday morning, if she's done packing my damn bag yet.

3. The most important thing to bring with me on any trip is...
     A. a flashlight, airport plates, and hand sanitizer.
     B. my cell phone and a picture of my family.
     C. Hot sauce.

4. When on a trip, the appropriate number of times to call home is...
     A. after each leg, when I get to the hotel, and before bed each day.
     B. once or twice, just to check in.
     C. none, otherwise I'll get yelled at for something.

5. The best overnight hotels have...
     A. free WiFi so I can Skype with my family.
     B. free WiFi so I can check my email.
     C. free WiFi so I can download porn.

6. When arriving at the hotel for a long overnight, I always...
     A. call home and go for a long run.
     B. call home and watch SportsCenter on tv.
     C. call the Flight Attendants and hit the bar next door.

7. When it's time for my FAA medical exam...
     A. I am confident my healthy lifestyle will be reflected in the results.
     B. I try to get adequate rest and eat more healthfully in the weeks prior.
     C. I quit drinking and smoking 24 hours prior, cross my fingers, and pray.  Then I pick a fight with
     my wife, so if my blood pressure is high, I can blame her.

8. When it comes to my closest friends....
     A. I enjoy hanging out with lots of people, regardless of their occupations.
     B. most are pilots, but some have other careers.
     C. all of them are pilots.  Why would I talk to anyone else?

9. On my days off....
     A. I try to spend as much time as possible with my family, and complete tasks around the house.
     B. I try to sleep in as much as possible and spend time with my family.
     C. I lay on the couch and watch the Military Channel.

If you scored:
9-12 points... You are the most irritating person aloft.  Your need for perfection makes flying with you an exceedingly uncomfortable experience.  Please seek a career in Management, or with the FAA.

13-23 points... You are quite normal, but where's the fun in that?  Embrace your inner "Master Of The Universe" a little more. 

24-27 points... Congratualations!!!  You are a REAL PILOT!  A God of the skies! Everyone loves flying with you!  You carry yourself with an air of confidence and a definite swagger!


  1. Lmao, how true is that?! I think your next blog should be about skygod needs certain underwear, shirts, shorts, ball caps and acts all pms'd out before he leaves. I've tried replacing his tissue like boxers but he freaked out, he NEEDS his lucky "man panties" as he puts it....

    Keep the topics coming, I LOVE reading your blog!

    1. Trudi, you rock!!! Thanks for laughing. I promise, there will be a "ritual" blog soon. You're the best!

    2. Awesome! Just knowing that there is someone else that knows my pain makes me feel 10times better! My pilot has been home for 20 days, and I'm about ready to hurt him....then again, at least he's not sending me pics of HNL while Im busting my arse shoveling the foot of snow that accumulated in our driveway! :D