Thursday, February 16, 2012


In the wee hours of the morning, a woman calls 911.  She tells the dispatcher, "Please send the police, QUICK!  There's a naked Air Line Pilot in my driveway, stealing my newspaper!".  Confused, the dispatcher asks, "Ma'am, if he's naked, how do you know he's an Air Line Pilot?".  The woman replied, "He's got a big watch, a small weenie, AND HE WON"T PAY FOR HIS OWN NEWSPAPER!!!!".

enough said.


  1. I just found your blog through a friend and have been lmao! I emailed your best pilot jokes to my husband and he replied with this:

    What's the difference between a fighter pilot and God?

    God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.

    I feel your pain :)

  2. How do you get a pilot out of your room on an overnight?
    -Open the door, throw the USA Today into the hall, then shut the door as he runs after it.

    How do you know when you've met a pilot at a dinner party?
    -Don't worry- he'll tell you!
    (How to spot the F/A at a party? The guest eating over the trash can and wiping their hands on the drapes.)

    How do you know when your date with a pilot is half over?
    -He says, "Enough about me, let me tell you about my airplane."

    Why do pilots wear ties?
    -So the foreskin doesn't pop up and obscure their vision.

  3. True story ... a pilot complaining on a web board about the lack of free newspapers at an overnight hotel said, now he has to walk several rooms down the hall to find "his."