Wednesday, January 18, 2012

EVIL GENIUS, PART ONE



Pilot Husband possesses a particular evil genius... a Machiavellian sensibility, if you will.  He has figured out that if he screws up a chore badly enough, he may temporarily suffer the hostility, verbal abuse, and ridicule of AngryPilotWife.  But he will never be asked to complete that chore again, making it utterly worth his while.  It must be intentional... no one could be that incompetent.

For example, AngryPilotWife got tired of walking past the carcass of PilotHusband on the couch (watching the Military Channel), while she completed all of the housework.  Admittedly, I snapped.  I drew a map for PilotHusband to assist him in locating our laundry room.  I covered the washer and dryer with neon post-it notes, using very small words and pictures to explain how to wash clothes.  Then I stormed off to run some errands, grumbling some colorful combinations of very small (4 letter) words as I slammed the door behind me.

Upon my return, I had settled down and gotten over myself.  I actually felt bad for PilotHusband.  I went to the laundry room to help him finish the wash.... He had dutifully loaded all my white clothes into the washing machine (check!), then he set the machine to "hot water" (check!), then he added detergent (check!), and bleach (check!).  Then he added a new RED sweatshirt (definitely NOT check!).  Given that I was NOT a Phi Mu in college, and pink is NOT my signature color, I was a little upset.  As I pulled my newly pink wardrobe out of the washer, I vowed I would never allow PilotHusband to do another load of laundry.... EVIL GENIUS.

2 comments:

  1. OK...Which part of this do you not understand? I have lived with another "said pilot" for over 20 some years,and even was a flight attendant for 10 years so I do know something about this career.

    Trust me, it doesn't get any better. Either they are not doing anything at all as demonstrated by your "pilot in training" by acting stupid or either it is "You don't know what you are doing so, therefore, I must question every decision you make" by constantly checking up to make sure you did the simplest thing.

    Trust me, I feel your pain....

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  2. Wow! You must be my twin separated at birth! 21 years with PilotHusband... you are right, it doesn't get any better! At least we can laugh.

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