Thursday, January 26, 2012


For those of you who take pity on Pilot Husband for the "bashing" he has received here, I shall give him the day off and instead tell you about a time AngryPilotWife screwed up in the most spectacular fashion.  It does happen on occasion... rarely, but it does happen.

When I was a Flight Attendant, I was on day four of a particularly hard trip.  We landed at Reagan National Airport with just a few minutes to catch our deadhead flight home.  The rest of the crew wanted to get something to eat, so I agreed to run ahead to the next terminal and get our tickets.  The combination of being rushed and tired meant that I was careening down the hall, dragging my rollerboard, and not really looking where I was going.  That's when it happened...

BAM!  I had inadvertently head-butted someone in the chest... with such force that I knocked him to the ground and sent him sliding along the well polished marble floor.  When I looked down at my victim, I realized it was the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs!  What the Iraqis couldn't do in the first Gulf War, a Flight Attendant with blond hair, a big hair bow, and Park Avenue Peach lip gloss, almost did.

I began to apologize profusely.  "Sir, I am sooo sorry".  Then I began to gush.  "Oh Sir!  I think you are just wonderful".  Then it happened (again)....

As I was trying to simultaneously salute and extend a hand to help him up, I let go of the handle of my suitcase, which was having weight and balance issues.  Yep, you guessed it.  The suitcase fell forward with the handle fully extended, hitting the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs right in the "Man Parts".  Now he was laying on the floor, in the fetal position, writhing in pain.  At that point members of his entourage appeared and sent me away, unable to apologize for the final blow.

Embarrassed and heartsick, I went to the gate to get the deadhead tickets for my crew.  While standing in line, the woman in front of me backed up, forcing me to back up as well.  Unfortunately, when I did, I stepped on the foot of the man in line behind me.  He was a reporter for ABC news who was notorious for being a total Jacka$$ to cabin crews.  When he got indignant, I just shrugged my shoulders and said, "Sorry, Mr. *********, but you should see what I just did to the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs".

Somedays, you can't get to the Employee Parking Lot, fast enough.

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