Friday, January 13, 2012


January 13, 2012

Many years ago, the National Rifle Association was holding it's annual Convention and Gun Show in Charlotte, NC.  Pilot Husband and Marine Corps Pilot Buddy decided it would be great to attend and hear Charlton Heston speak (the NRA President at that time.... God bless his kind and patriotic soul, amen).

With the enthusiasm of children on Christmas morning, Pilot Husband and USMC Pilot Buddy awoke early.  They drank coffee, showered and dressed (not together, because that would be weird).  Each chose an outfit, appropriate for the occasion.  Pilot Husband sported his "You'll get my gun when you pry it from my cold dead hands" T-shirt.  USMC Pilot Buddy selected the classic "Marine Corps Snipers... You can run, but you'll just get tired" T-shirt.  Ebullient at the notion of a day of Second Amendment chest thumping, male bonding, and looking at cool firearms, they set off for Charlotte.

Given that pilots, as a species, are cheap (for confirmation, please see the "80 pound log" post), they used a friend's parking pass and left the car in his office building's garage, walking 6 blocks to the Convention Center.  Gleefully, they took the stairs at the entrance 2 at a time.  They were about to meet Moses, Ben Hurr, NRA President, Charlton Heston!!!  They burst through the double doors into the main lobby... wait for it... only to discover they had their dates wrong.  Sadly, the NRA Convention was scheduled for the following week.  They had, in fact, walked into a Nation of Islam Convention, greeted by 1500 followers of Malcolm X. Allah Akbar!   Needless to say, they stuck out.

Deflated and dejected, they made a hasty retreat back to the safety of the shores of Lake Norman and Vinnie's Raw Bar, to drink beer and stare at tank top wearing, short short clad waitresses.  After beer number three, they tried to concoct a plausible response to the inevitable question they would face upon arriving home; "Hi Honey!  How was the gun show?".  Our story should end there.  But it doesn't.  Ironically 6 days later I was the Flight Attendant working First Class on a Charlotte bound flight and one of my passengers was... Mr. Charlton Heston.  Of course I had to tell him the tale of Pilot Husband and USMC Pilot Buddy attending the wrong convention.  After listening to my story, he laughed.  Oh how Mr. Charlton Heston laughed... and laughed... and laughed... and laughed... and laughed.